Humiliations

Redskins Bitch – 1992

Send this picture as an ecard

Things do not end well for the Lions…Ever!

The lions best post Bobby Layne era season had to be 1992 when they went 12 – 4 and made it to the NFC Championship game  by defeating the Dallas Cowboys at home (Their lone playoff win in over 50 years).   However the season would end as all other seasons during the cursed years, poorly. Washington ( who beat them 45-0 in the opening game of the season) defeated the Lions 41-10 in one of their worst playoff performances ever!

The curse had allowed the Lions to get within one game of the Super Bowl, then, with hopes high and a National audience watching, the Lions were humiliated again and the fans left wondering just what went wrong.

Lomas Guarantees Victory – 1995

Send this picture as an ecard

The Lions were hoping to avenge their poor exit from the playoffs in 92  and were very optimistic heading to Philadelphia for the first round playoff game.  They had won their final 7 games in a row, enough to save Wayne Fontes job.  In fact, they were so optimistic that the Lions Lomas Brown Guaranteed victory before the game even began, claiming it was just a matter of time and by how much that the Lions would win.

I have no idea what the curse had planned had not the guarantee been said but once it was said, lets just say the curse took over with an iron fist.

Eagles Coach Ray Rhodes used the quote as bulletin board material  and almost instantly Lomas Brown guarantee of victory turned real ugly in Philadelphia when the Eagles scored 31 points in the second quarter (second most points scored in one quarter during a playoff game) and cruised to a 58-37 victory over the Lions in what many call the worst Lion game of all time. Also, just to rub salt in the wound, discarded Lions quarterback Rodney Peete was the Philly QB that day!

Rhodes had this to say after the game  “If he had been a two- or three-time Super Bowl champion, I could understand it.  If you haven’t been there, keep your mouth shut.”  The Lions have not won a road playoff game since 1957.

Shared MVP – 1997

Send this picture as an ecard

In 1997 Barry Sanders rushed for an all time second best 2,053 yards. He carried the Lions on his back to get them into the playoffs and had 14 straight 100 yard rushing games.   The fans in Detroit had been waiting a long time for a football MVP, surely this was the year.  However he had to share the MVP with Brett Favre thanks to Curt Sylvester, a sports writer for the Detroit Free Press who decided to vote for Favre then had the nerve to write a column about how he was wrong to do it.

Did the Curse possess this guy for a moment?  Or did he just want to show the world how open minded he was.  who knows.

I have not had a Free Press in the house since!  How any Detroit writer could do that to one of the greatest backs of all time  is beyond me, unless of course the team is cursed.

Barry Sanders Retires – 1999

Send this picture as an ecard

Everyone knew Barry would break the all time rushing record this year, and people were betting which game it would be.  The 12th, the 14th, maybe on the final day of the season.  We had been waiting a while for this year and it was finally upon us.

Not even the curse could stop this from happening…WRONG.

On the brink of eclipsing Walter Payton’s all-time NFL rushing record (currently held by E. Smith), Barry Sanders retired. His representative, David Ware, stated that Barry would sign a check returning his bonus money immediately of the Lions were to trade him. Sources close to Sanders stated several reasons for the retirement including the teams awful 5-11 performance the previous year. Sanders also did not believe the organization was committed to winning and allowed too many key veteran players (such as offensive linemen Lomas Brown, Kevin Glover and Zefross Moss) to depart as free agents. He also grew weary of Coach Bobby Ross and his “tempermental personality” which was in much contrast to Wayne Fontes, his earlier coach. Imagine how proud Lion fans must have been when one of the greatest talent in history is willing to pay millions not to play for you and would rather retire just 1,457 yards shy of Payton’s rushing mark than play another season as a Lion.

Fontes Sues Lions – 1999

Send this picture as an ecard

The Lions have a history of coaches who never coach again in the NFL after leaving Detroit, however only one, Wayne Fontes actually sued for damages. Wayne set out to prove that due to injuries sustained while he was coaching the Lions that he has been unable to coach anymore. Magistrate John Hurbis was not impressed with Waynes evidence and put forth this statement “Fontes has failed to prove by a preponderance of the evidence that he has a disability, which arose out of, and in the course of, his employment with the Detroit Lions”.

Perhaps if Wayne had the benefit of this website with all the evidence presented here, the Magistrate would have delivered a different verdict.

Moeller Contract – 2000

Send this picture as an ecard

A couple games after taking over for a “dejected” Bobby Ross, Coach Moeller was given a 3 year contract, then fired at the end of the season. Moeller had to be laughing all the way to the bank as he got paid for the next two years while his replacement, Mornhinweg, would only win 5 games and lose 27 during this same stretch. Despite the poor performance of the team during those two years, Mornhinweg was given a guarantee that his job was safe after the season. A month after getting his job guarantee, Mornhinweg was fired. Screwed up coaching deals like these would be the norm rather than the exception as Millen’s hiring practice of only interviewing one person would result in league fines and condemnation by minority leaders such as Jesse Jackson.

The Millen Era was beginning, and the Lions darkest days were ahead of them.  No one in their wildest dreams could imagine the level of mediocrity that Millen would lead the Lions to.   Moeller was the first of the “M” coaches (Moeller, Mornhinweg, Mariucci, and Marinelli) hired and/or fired by Matt Millen.

The Belly Flop – 2001

Send this picture as an ecard

The Lions have a history of drafting poorly, and their high draft picks usually fade into oblivion.  However, once in a great while one of these, shall we say 1st round flops, goes out in a real blaze of glory.  This is the story of one of those players.

The Lions were down by 3 and had the ball with 2:12 to play in the game when the Lions 370lb Aaron Gibson decided to do an ugly late hit by belly flopping on a Bengal player. The late hit created a 3rd and 28 situation in which Quarterback Charlie Batch threw an interception and the game was over. Gibson was pulled from the game immediately after the incident then released later on in the week. People to this day discuss which was the biggest flop for the first round draft pick, his career with the Lions or his belly flop on the field (Remember Aaron missed all of 1999 with an injury and only played 10 games in 2000).

Aaron Gibson moved  on to bigger and better things in Dallas, becoming the NFL’s first 400lb football player in 2002.

Kissing Ass – 2001

The Lions 0-10 start caught the attention of Jay Leno making for some memorable monologues and skits (Yes, it was only a matter of time before television would give the Lions their due).

Send this picture as an ecard

Each Monday night my wife and I would snuggle by the TV and listen for the joke that we knew was certain to come. Sometimes the Lion fans would get in on the fun, displaying banners such as “This Isn’t Funny” on Thanksgiving to a national audience.  Also jokes comparing the Taliban’s running game to the Lions were also well played on all stations.

Finally the Lions beat the Vikings and while leaving the field, Johnnie Morton exclaimed “Jay Leno can kiss my ass”. That Monday Jay brought in a live donkey and kissed the donkey while Johnnie Morton watched on a split screen in Detroit (He also said the Vikings were on suicide watch after losing to Detroit, the last jab at Detroit at least for that season).

Johnny Morton went on to participate in other Lion humiliations and finally ended up in mixed martial arts, where he was knocked out in 38 seconds, then suspended for not taking a post fight anti doping test.

Overtime Toss – 2002

Send this picture as an ecard

Everyone knows the value of winning the toss in a sudden death overtime game. On this November day, Lion coach Marty Mornhinweg won the overtime toss and elected to kick off. Needless to say the Lions never even got a chance to go on offense as the Bears scored on their first possession.

ESPN ranking of the 10 worst coaching decisions in sports placed Mornhinweg’s  overtime call third.  Mornhinweg has had little good to say about the Detroit organization since his departure, claiming that he has been in 4 organizations, with 3 of them being great top to bottom.

Despite losing the game, Mornhinweg still says his decision was correct. “It was the right call then, it’s the right call now, and it’s the right call 10 years from now“.  Marty has gone on to make Sports Illustrated list of the NFL’s worst coach hires since 84, as the Lion tributes keep mounting up.

24 Straight Road Losses 2001-2003

Send this picture as an ecard

The Lions went 3 entire seasons without winning a road game, shattering the old record and adding another prized piece of tin to their collection. The streak ended at 24 when the Lions beat Chicago at Soldiers Field in 2004. With salary caps creating parity in the league it is very doubtful that another team will ever break this record…

That is what I wrote back in 2004, now its 2009 and the Lions are knocking on this door once again.

If ever I thought a record was secure it was this one, I did not think any team could make a run at this, but at the time of this writing the Lions have lost 17 in a row, dating back to the 8th game of 2007 (against chicago ironically).  The shame in breaking a record like this twice in the same decade may be too much for any fan base, curse or no curse.

Millen Mouth – 2003

Send this picture as an ecard

Matt Millen released Johnny Morton after the 2001 season (Morton caught 77 passes for 1,154 yards that year). 2 years later (2003), the two reunited when Morton’s new team, the Kansas City Chiefs, beat the Lions in a “close” 45-17 blowout. After the game Morton told Millen to “kiss his ass” to which Millen replied “You faggot, yeah you heard me, you faggot!” Millen later apologized for his outburst.

Johnny Morton issued the following statement “I apologize for what I said, but I never expected anything like that. What he said is demeaning and bigoted”.

One year earlier (2002), Millen had insulted his own players by referring to one of them as a “devout coward” during a radio interview.  William Clay Ford expressed disappointment over Millen’s comments

Turkey Days – 2004/2005

Send this picture as an ecard

Heres a record that the Lions have set twice, let me give you a little background info first.

The Lions have hosted a game every Thanksgiving Day since 1934, with the exception of the World War 2 years.  Thanksgiving day is a tradition in Detroit as the Lions take center stage around the Nation and perform for all to see.  However in recent years the Thanksgiving game has come under scrutiny from other teams who believe the game should be rotated.  One of the reasons that is given is the continued poor play of the Detroit Lions which sometimes does not make for an entertaining game.  Most years the Lions are already eliminated from any playoff contention and in recent years the games have not been very close.

The combined scores of the 2004 and 2005 Thanksgiving Day losses by Detroit are 16 -68 (52 point spread) which beats the 1966/67 previous Thanksgiving record also held by the Lions (51 point spread).

At least no one can claim the Lions have an unfair advantage playing at home on Thanksgiving.

Fire Millen – 2005

Send this picture as an ecard

Lion fans had to be proud of their team when television camera’s captured Lion security chasing an individual with a “fire Millen” sign throughout the stadium. Each time the fan eluded security the crowd would cheer. Occasionally the fan would pass the sign to other fans in a make shift form of keep away that must have really irked Ford Field security. Once the Fan was apprehended, the crowd began chanting “Fire Millen” to the obvious dismay of security. The incident would cause an uproar in the Detroit area and garnish National attention as the chant “Fire Millen” became the fans battle cry. “Fire Millen” chants were heard at Michigan State Basketball Games, Detroit Pistons Games, Detroit Red Wings Games and “Fire Millen Signs” have shown up on ESPN broadcast and Gil Thorp comic strips.

Meanwhile “Keep Millen” signs would pop up wherever the Lions played on the road.  One in Green Bay said Millen was the best GM the Packers ever had.  The Holiday season of 2005 was very memorable in 2005 with this incident and the Millen Man March so close together.

Matt Millen claimed during an interview that he was admiring a Christmas tree that year, the traditional ornaments, the twinkling glow, and right at the top was a “Fire Millen” sign.  Without a doubt this was the biggest fan revolt since the snowballing of Harry Gilmer nearly 30 years earlier.

Millen Man March – 2005

Send this picture as an ecard

A local radio station organized an “Angry Fan March” at the last Lion home game of the 2005 season. The protesters were well organized and equipped with protest signs and orange shirts (the colors of the opposing team) and peacefully demonstrated and marched outside of Ford Field. One sign read “There are a Millen reasons why the Lions can’t win” and another sign read 20-57 (Millens record with the Lions at that time, in 2007 his record improved to 31 – 81, 50 games under 500).

The march has gone done in history as the “Millen Man March”, the day the fans marched on Ford Field as a show of protest to the Lion organization.

Americas Most Wanted – 2006

Send this picture as an ecard

So many promising quarterbacks have walked through the Lions history, Chuck Long, Andre Ware, Rodney Peete, Joey Harrington…But only 1 was a wanted criminal.   Lion fans had to be real proud in 2005 when one of their quarterbacks ended up on Americas Most Wanted.

Yes its true, one of the Lion quarterbacks actually ended up on Americas Most Wanted.

Jeff Komlo, ex Lion quarterback, was featured on the popular television show. Apparently the cops were chasing him since May of 2005 (prompting a national joke, what do the Cops and the Lions Defense have in common?  Neither can get to the quarterback). Komlo told a reporter that he can’t believe he is being lumped in with the criminals but still refuses to turn himself in at this time. Perhaps he felt his time with the Lions is punishment enough.

The story does not end well for Komlo, he died in a automobile accident in Greece on Mar 14, 2009.  Originally the Pennsylvania law enforcement questioned whether he might have faked his own death, but 5 days later issued a statement that they were satisfied he was dead.