Happy Holidays To All

Twas the night of a Blackout, when all through my house,
my family was surfing for scores with their mouse.
To the radio they listened as voices filled the air,
mayhap a Lion victory would be talked about there.

Then suddenly I heard a strange broadcast that said,
out of his own endzone Dan Orlovsky had fled.
With Millen out of the picture and finally off the map,
you’d think they’d get better but they’re still doing this crap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I stepped out and saw Aaron Gibson, he was fatter.
He fell from my window and flattened the grass,
then I saw Charles Rogers dropping a pass.

The moon shown down on the Lion players below
Mike Williams was running but he was too slow.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but Bobby Layne laughing and guzzling a beer.

“Three championships I won then traded away,
my curse has returned and there’s still hell to pay.”
“Here’s a guarantee by Lomas“- “Here’s a 5-0 playoff loss“,
let no one forget how much trading me has cost.”

“I will leave you now this cold black out night,
with visions from Lion’s past that will cause you a fright.”
And with those remarks Bobby finished his brew,
and the visions began you may know quite a few.

Barry Sanders ran away very quick I admit,
rather than play for the Lions he decided to quit.
Enter William Clay Ford I was surprised that he came,
he looked at his Quarterbacks and called them by name!

“Now Kitna! now, Komlo! now, Joey and Plum!
On, Mitchell! On, Long! to the land of the bum!
To the bottom of the division! to pits of football!
Now fade away! fade away! fade away all!”

As dry leaves crumble to the wind they did fly,
the Lion Quarterbacks floated up to the sky.
So up to the house-top the quarterbacks they flew,
with our dashed playoff hopes, and 0 – 16 too.

And then in a twinkling I heard on the roof,
an incomplete pass bouncing the mayday play goof.
As I ran in the house and was turning around,
down the chimney came Wayne Fontes, wearing a hat he had found.

He was dressed like a mouse, with ears on his head,
Coaching made me disabled, to the lawyers” he said.
Then 24 straight road losses that came back to back,
they were followed by Rodney Peete taking a sack.

A man walked by me with 1 and a half feet,
he had kicked a 63 yarder the Lions it beat.
Shaun Rogers then went away with a trade,
Eddie Murray missed a field goal while Monte Clark prayed.

The 08 Lions smiled but none had real teeth,
their victory total was shaped like a round Christmas wreath.
Raiola flipped me the finger, an obscene gesture he chose,
then in walked Joe Cullen, he was wearing no clothes!

Finally came Matt Millen to the Lion leader I said,
“I thought you were gone I thought you had fled”
I recognized him at once not at all like an elf,
saw his pic at a fan protest that I marched in myself.

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
told me we had more bad management to dread.
Millen spoke not a word but went straight to his craft,
he was helped by bad players he had picked in the draft.

Then Matt saw my sign said “Lion visions take a hike”,
Fire Millen” is a sign that I really don’t like.
But I heard Matt exclaim ‘ere he drove out of sight,
Johnny Morton you faggot, and devout cowards good-night!”

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